Courage in Adversity: Collette V. Smith's Story of Resilience

How y' all feeling?

Ryan, you have a very.

We were out in the hallway.

He has a very soothing NPR voice.

Welcome.

That's how I felt.

So.

But hi, I'm Ramonda Young.

I am not April Ryan.

Our dear April Ryan is not feeling well today.

So you have me, but I am honored to be here.

As Ryan said, I am Ramonda Lark Young, co owner and founder of Mahogany Books, along with my amazing husband Derek, of, of 23 years.

Yes, yes.

Clap that.

Yes.

We've been in business now for about 18 years, and I'm not sure if you're familiar with us, but we have a location at national harbor and we had a location in Anacostia for about eight years.

We just closed it about a year ago.

And that whole building is going under renovation for the next maybe 16 months or so.

But we do have a new location opening in Maryland in, wow, maybe 30, 45 days.

So I'm here and smiling, but I'm thinking about the other store that we're trying to open, too.

I can't tell.

I knew somebody's going to ask me.

I'm trying to keep it a secret.

Some people know.

But I want to do a little post and get all people excited.

But it's in Maryland.

It's a lot of black folks over there.

Well, we're everywhere.

So I won't say that we're everywhere all through Maryland.

But I do have my notes today because I'm excited about this conversation and I want to do this amazing trailblazer.

Right.

But.

Oh, let me before I get into that, also, I'm very proud to sit on the board of the D.C. public Library Foundation.

I'm the vice chair of that foundation.

And I heard you talk about it a little bit, Ryan.

But this week coming, an amazing exhibit is opening.

It's the Freedom and Resistance exhibit.

You guys heard about that already?

Yes.

It's based off of the 1619 project book.

And the whole library will be activated, especially on the opening night.

So next Friday.

So I don't know what you're doing next week, but if you can come out next week to the opening, it is going to blow your mind.

So I encourage everybody to come out and celebrate our history, our culture, the library, all the things, and of course, the 1619 Project Book.

So let's get into it.

Our guest this afternoon is a woman who has learned to stand when the door wasn't built for her and to speak even when her voice wasn't expected.

She is a trailblazer, a mentor, an advocate, a woman Whose life reminds us that courage is often quiet long before it becomes visible.

Visible.

She made history as the first black woman to coach in the NFL.

Let's give it up for that.

First of all, what?

First black woman to coach in the NFL.

And she was the first black woman, period, to coach for the New York jets franchise.

Her name is Colette V. Smith.

Let's give it up for Colette.

Yes.

Yes, Colette.

And while she's coming.

Yes, Colette, Come on up.

She is the founder of the.

The Believe in you foundation, where she travels all across the world sharing her story with women and children by teaching them to believe in themselves and their dreams.

Come on, Colette.

Wait, wait.

But I got some more to say about her.

Hold on.

I want to give you all your flowers.

She is an ambassador for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and is a survivor herself.

And she also has received numerous awards, including the Humanitarian Award at Super Bowl 56, the Trailblazer Award by the 100 Black Men, and is a proud honorary member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated.

We're gonna let y'.

All.

We're gonna let y' all do y' all thing, even though Azadeh's up here.

Okay?

We love y', all, too.

Okay.

Okay.

So please help me again welcome Colette V. Smith to the stage.

Yay.

Thank you very much.

Yay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

And thank you all for braving the rain today.

Braving it.

Thank you for coming out here.

I appreciate it.

This weather is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

It is, yeah.

Definitely.

So let's get into it.

So I'm really curious, very curious.

In your amazing story, you talk about resilience, you talk about family and faith, and you share that in your new book, Colette's Courage, that some of you have already pre ordered, and we do have copies that can be signed after the event.

But who did you become privately, Colette, in order to become, in order to survive those spaces where you weren't expected to be?

How did you.

How did you handle that?

We're gonna get deep into it already.

You have an amazing story.

What's interesting is that my.

My mom is.

Was such a lady.

Like, she was such a classy lady, like pearls, pencil skirts, you know, and I was the one out there climbing the trees.

And so she used to always try to get me to, you know, put on these little dresses she would buy me, and I didn't.

I didn't want to get in them.

So I was conflicted a lot of times of, you know, what was Expected of me.

What was I supposed to do?

I just wanted to be me.

I didn't think about anything else except for just being me.

Whatever I liked, I did.

Unless, you know, I got a butt beaten because my dad said I was supposed to be doing something else.

But I think for me, it was literally just wanting to brave out who I am, see who I am.

You know, as little kids, as adults, we try to figure out who we are still to this very day.

And I fight with the idea of, am I saying I want to do this because the world is suggesting it, or is it really in my heart to be this particular way, whatever way that may be.

So I think it's just, I don't think I still ever found out who the heck I really am.

I'm still a work in progress, but

all of us are.

You know, even Michelle Obama had the book becoming.

It didn't say I'm already here.

It's a great book too.

Yes, Becoming.

So we're still in that process.

So I received that I want to

become Barack Obama's wife, but that will never happen.

But I will try.

You know, that's not becoming so.

But yeah, that's an amazing book though.

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

But I'm curious too.

Who supported you when you doubted yourself?

Your dreams?

Who supported, supported you?

Who was in that space for you as you grew up?

Because we see the amazing, polished Colette who's down to earth and engaging.

But how did you get there?

Who supported those dreams?

You know what?

My Aunt Ronnie.

My Aunt Ronnie.

So you know how your parents all have best friends, that your mom's best friend may not be your blood aunt, but as far as you're concerned, this is your aunt.

I, I have one of those, right?

And it was my aunt Ronnie.

And Aunt Ronnie has so many degrees and I was just proud of her for that, right?

And Ronnie would come to my parents house and my mother would always be in the kitchen playing some, you know, Motown, cooking food.

And Ronnie would come over and eat up all our food, just be in the kitchen eating.

And my mom was like, ding, pick up table nine.

You know, like just.

And my mother loved to cater to people.

So Ronnie would be in the house all the time eating.

But I would come in the kitchen and grab something out the fridge and corduroy jeans or shorts or a football jersey.

And my mom would turn around and look at me and go, oh, she's always wearing these clothes.

I got her nice clothes, these dresses and these things like that.

And Aunt Ronnie would say, oh, Missy, leave her alone, you.

She's her own person.

As a little kid, I don't think she understood what that meant for me.

It meant the world.

I felt seen, you know, And I knew my mother loved me, but I felt seen.

And that's what we want in this world, right, Is to feel seen.

So Aunt Ronnie definitely had my back.

I love that.

And I don't think we realize the value.

Sometimes we take some of those people in our life for granted.

Yeah.

So to hear you say that and the emotion that's coming out, it's just a reminder even to me and the relatives, that I have to really love on them while they're here.

So I love that you have that experience with her.

Okay, Aunt Ronnie.

So this book, we're gonna skip around a little bit.

So this book that is here, I am curious, because the book is good.

The illustrations.

Aren't the illustrations amazing?

I mean, I'm not just saying because I own a bookstore, but they are amazing.

Because I would say.

I'd say.

I'd be honest.

They are amazing, and the content is amazing.

Why now?

Why write this book right now for kids?

And why did you put your story.

It's kind of like a little bio, but it's in kid form.

Why did you choose to do it in that format?

Oh, my goodness.

So I'm gonna get really real with you guys.

Come on.

Come on.

We ready for church?

Okay, so I don't like to write.

I hate it.

Right?

Like, I think I have some great things to write about.

I don't like the process of it.

So if I speak to you on the telephone and we're talking about when to meet up and what time and the address, and then before you hang up the phone, you say, okay, send me an email about.

An email about what we just talked about.

I'm going to be mad at you like, I just told you.

And I got to write an email because while I'm writing it out, I'm like, okay, wait.

What I have to say, I overthink things.

So it takes away from what I really want to get to write about.

So I can't stand it, right?

So one of my sorority sisters had said to me, colette, I know you're working on your life story, because right now, I'm working on my life story.

I've been working on it since 2017, okay?

But she said, colette, you have to do a children's book.

She's a school principal.

So the school principal was like, please get a book done right now for the kids, at least, you know, because I said my book is too time consuming.

And it's not that I'm afraid to write the things that I've experienced in my life, because there are some really, really ugly, ugly, ugly moments.

I'm not embarrassed by it today.

I just keep going down rabbit holes.

Then I'm like, wait, what was I talking about?

Okay, what am I trying to get back to?

And then I'm like, I'm busy.

It's three hours later.

I got to go do something else.

So this children's book came about because somebody said, you can do this because you talk about your childhood all the time when it comes to football.

So I hunkered down and I was just like, you know what?

I turned off my phone, I turned off the radio.

Alexa was playing.

I got to get her out of my house.

She was playing.

And I just said, I'm not getting up from my desk until I finish this book.

And the main message of this book was about to show children, you know, there's peer pressure out here.

As adults, we get peer pressure.

As adults, we are better equipped to handle it.

Do we want to?

We don't want to even deal with it.

But it is what it is.

So, children, I'm always looking to armor up the kids, okay?

And so this book came about because I wanted to show our kids exactly, you know, that the world could be a good place if you pick the right people to be in your world.

Come on, preach.

Come on.

Right?

You gotta pick your people.

Pick them wisely.

So Colette's courage I wanted to share, by the way, in this book.

There's two little characters in the book that are real.

Natalie and Emily.

Those were my real girlfriends.

And we were all so very different.

And I liked the diversity of us.

Natalie was real dark skinned.

She had real coarse hair.

She wore these thick glasses.

Emily was a Puerto Rican girl with nappy hair with freckles.

We loved each other.

I was a little.

I don't know what I was when I was growing up because I didn't know what side of the fence I was supposed to be on.

But it didn't matter to me because I had my crew, I had my tribe, and we were very supportive of one another.

So Colette's courage just wanted me to showcase what it looks like to have the right people in your life to also be humane to animals.

You don't have to, like dogs or cats or whatever, but you sure don't have to be mean to them.

Okay?

Some pet Lovers in the building.

Yeah, I'm a huge proponent of that.

Right.

So there's so many things in this book that are teachable moments.

You know, I had an older brother.

Well, I still have him.

You can have him if you want him.

He's gonna watch this.

Good.

Let him.

He was the guy that didn't do his homework.

He was a guy that always was messing up.

And my parents were always chasing him around the town, you know, get home, you know.

Why didn't you do your homework?

Why is your report card colors in red and purple ink all the time?

And I was the one that always had straight A's.

I was on a roll dean's list every time I had the report card.

And for me, I loved coming home, being responsible.

I just loved it.

I loved making my parents proud to this very day.

So I didn't want to hear my mom and dad's voice about, did you do your homework?

Well, how do we fix that?

Just do your homework so you don't have to hear that.

And so I loved coming home, doing my homework and cooking in the kitchen.

So.

And my dad.

That's my dude, right, Cookie?

My dad is my boy.

I call my father the light skinned George Jefferson.

I loved how you had him illustrated in the book too, with his trench coat on and everything.

That's what he does.

A hat.

He wears his fedora hat.

That was my dad.

When he walked up the block, he.

Everybody KNEW that was Mr. Smith and he was cool with everybody.

And at the exact same time, you didn't play with him though, even though you could play with him, but you didn't play with him until he gave you the okay.

So it's just.

It's just so much treasure, so many treasures.

So there are lots of treasures in the book.

What do you hope readers walk away with?

Little readers and adults walk away with something too, I feel.

But what do you want the little readers to walk away with?

When you were sitting down writing this book and going through this whole process, at the end of it, what did you want them to walk away with?

Well, there's a page in the book that pays homage to my university.

I'm a Tuskegee University girl.

T U.

You know.

Okay.

Uh, oh, not tu.

You know, Wait a minute.

I got you land.

Wait, no tu.

She got.

She's representing.

Okay, Representing Tuskegee.

Right there.

So I have a little Tuskegee University Golden Tigers in my bedroom.

So I want the kids to think about HBCUs and in particular Tuskegee University.

Okay.

Outside of that, I would just say just a matter of being decent kids.

And you don't have to follow anybody.

You do what works for you.

To not follow anybody.

You need to be the leader that you would follow yourself.

You be the leader you would follow.

So I want kids to take away.

That's a takeaway for them.

But it's also for adults to take that away, you know, and to use that and to, you know, to recognize that kids have their own minds, you know, parents a lot of times, because I know my parents, my dad, he didn't play much of anything besides, what did I just say?

And you just did it.

But to be able to understand what your kids really want, to see them for who they are.

Yeah, I love that.

So how did you.

When you were doing this book and you talked about your childhood friends, your best friends in the book, do you feel like going through this book really helped you heal or reclaim parts of you as you were writing it?

When you revisited going down that memory lane, did it really connect with you as your own childhood?

Were there parts of you that healed doing it?

Yes, it did.

Because when my father will ask me things about my childhood or he may bring something up, and I'm like, I don't remember that.

And my dad would be like, you don't remember that?

What do you mean?

And I'm like, I don't remember it.

There's a lot of my childhood that I do not remember.

So to be able to remember things and write it down and have it forever is special to me.

And then the rebirth of childhood, like, literally the rebirth of being naturally who I am, innately me.

Because as a kid, you are exactly who you are supposed to be.

The world hasn't eaten you up yet and made you second guess yourself.

So, thinking about my little girl self, I was.

I was unstoppable.

Like, I felt like I could do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I could want to do it, because I could do that because I had a brain and good parents.

Right.

And then somewhere along the line, you start forgetting that.

That's the thing.

But it really is a thing.

What made you keep remembering it, though?

You say your parents, what kept that close to your heart?

That you are amazing, that you are phenomenal.

Like, what kept that?

Or did you have those moments where you kind of doubted that, too?

I doubt that as an adult all the time.

All the time.

I have imposter syndrome all the time.

I feel like some days I'm like, you ain't nobody, Colette.

Come on now, you know, what are you doing?

You can't do that.

And then after a couple hours, I'm like, watch this.

You know, because, you know, we have to be careful and mindful of what we allow in our brains, right?

What we feed ourselves verbally.

You wouldn't let just anybody in your house, would you?

Off the street, just, oh, come on in my house?

I don't know.

You.

You are not coming inside of my home.

Well, we have to be the same way when it comes to what our thoughts are and what we're telling ourselves.

And that's very important.

Like, God would want us to do a better job of teaching ourselves, letting ourselves know that we're worthy of everything good and pure and whole period.

So you talk about imposter syndrome.

You talk about doubting yourselves.

We have an amazing book on courage.

And you are a sister who is the first black woman to coach an NFL team.

How did you get there?

Like, what kind of self talk, what kind of doubt did you have to overcome to get to that space?

That is.

That is trailblazing in its finest form.

How did you do that?

It's not just.

I just walked up and I'm going to go apply for this job.

Break it down for us.

We here.

We in here now.

We at the rain.

I still think about that and I'm like, yup, I did that.

What's up?

Yes, you did.

Yes, you did.

I'm like, yup, we gonna clap for it too.

I think about that and I'm like, yes, that happened.

I think, you know what?

As a little girl, as a little black girl growing up in Queens, New York, with the boys that were rough and tough in the street playing football, that was a fear I had to get through.

Like, conquer that as a kid, you know, when I got.

When I was working with the New York jets, as I no longer coach in the NFL, I now work with my company, Believe in you incorporated 100% of the time.

But when I think about coaching in the NFL, I never ever thought about being a coach in the NFL.

Do you realize that was never a dream for me?

Some kids will think about, I want to be a veterinarian, right?

I want to be an astronaut.

I want to be a math teacher when I grew up, I want to be a fireman or firewoman.

I never had that dream of being an NFL coach.

That was stolen from me, okay?

You never let me have that dream, meaning the world.

Because if the.

I bring that up because my older brother used to play for the Long Island Tomahawks.

It was a Pop Warner football team.

Now, my little brother and I, we're.

My older brother.

We are the same age for a month.

One month.

So we're like twin.

They call them Irish twins, whatever.

Anyway, black twins.

We black twins.

He, as much as I love football, he got to wear a football uniform.

He got to have a helmet.

He got to have on shoulder pads and have cleats.

And when we played outside in the street, I played better than he did.

I could wax anybody's floor with him.

And your floor would shine, too.

It would shine.

So when my parents talking about this football team, I'm thinking, oh, my God, this is amazing.

When can we go out there and play?

Like, meaning me included.

And my mom and dad were in the kitchen.

They looked pretty sad.

They looked at me, and they were like, well, no, it's not for the girls.

And I'm thinking, now I am a little girl that doesn't know the world is a dark place yet.

That was horrible for me.

I mean, I remember that moment, and I couldn't believe my parents let me down.

That was my first major letdown.

And I didn't understand it.

It didn't make sense to me.

And I'm like, he gets to play football on a team wearing all this equipment like a real football player, and I can't because I'm a girl.

It did not make the math.

Wasn't mathing.

And so.

Oh, I used to wear him out in the backseat of the station wagon on the way back from practice.

Anyway, they made me a cheerleader.

I had to be a cheerleader.

So now I got in trouble.

This goes into the NFL football coaching part.

My dad drove my brother to the Long Island Tomahawks practice.

My dad was preoccupied with him.

So I ventured off to find the kids that were my height.

And I just got online.

They were, like, weighing them and doing things with them.

So I just ventured off, and I got in line.

Like.

I'm like, I'm not.

I'm not listening to my parents.

I'm about to play with this team.

I don't care what they say.

So I was online, and then all of a sudden, somebody grabbed me and snatched me off the line.

My dad grabbed me and said, get you over here.

And then I was pushed over with the cheerleaders.

And I like to dance, too.

I was the worst dancer on purpose that season.

Okay.

And so that just hurt me so bad.

So if you wouldn't even let me play football as a child, what do you think?

That did for me.

Dreaming to be an NFL coach one day.

You stole that from me.

So.

There are so many careers or paths that our children could take.

We have to be very cognizant of what we say to them.

So.

So that they don't feel like some things are unattainable for them so to come back full circle and start coaching in the NFL.

I've bumped into some guys that used to play for the Tomahawks.

How y' all doing?

Right?

Come on.

Receipts.

Come on.

Right?

You know, so I mean, things like that bring you self encouragement, right?

And like my brother, I used to call him Splinterbutt.

Back in the day, we didn't have metal benches, we had wooden benches.

So he would ride.

He rode the bench okay, More than he got on the football field.

And every time, after every football game, I would get in the back seat with my brother and be like, you didn't get to play.

You must not be good.

You know all this.

And my father would be driving like, stop.

He'd be back, stop.

And I would be like, wait till we get home.

I'm where you at?

When we get home.

When we get home.

But it was a thing where I was, like, trying to prove myself that I'm worthy, that I'm worth it.

That's what all that turned into.

So when I was coaching my women's pro football team, I was doing their marketing, their promotions, their pr.

I did all the things for my team and by the way, at no money.

And I was doing real estate.

I was a real estate broker in New York City for 18 years, and I was great at it.

You know, as we said, we were talking earlier about giving 100% Ryan, or don't do anything at all.

If you're not going to give 100% effort into something, don't do it.

Don't start none, won't be none.

Because if you give me half ass, you're not going to go all the way.

Then don't.

Don't waste my time or yours, right?

So in real estate, I was fantastic, but the market had crashed and I started doing football.

Okay, fine.

I did the pr, the marketing, the promote promotions, the events.

I was coaching my team.

That was a problem in itself.

That was a major struggle because these are my teammates and I wasn't a great player physically.

I was 42 years old when I started playing pro football.

I was already grown.

Many of the NFL retire before 42.

I just started my football career at age 42.

That's black girl magic I'm just saying.

And so that made me feel a certain kind of way of like gave me confidence.

So playing this sport gave me confidence even though I wasn't the best player because my opponent was myself.

But Colette, what made you at 42, and I read that, what made you say, I'm gonna step out there and do that now with all the things that are going on, looking at what football is, what made you say at this time in my life I'm going to go for that thing at 42, you could have did it at 22, 45.

At 42, what made Colette say, I'm going to do this now?

And this point in my life, that

was when God presented it to me.

So had I been, had I been younger, I would have jumped on it.

I believe I would have jumped on it.

But God didn't give it to me then.

See, and you got.

My life was a complete wreck.

I, I mean, I don't know how much we can talk about things, but I'm a several time rape survivor by a family member.

My family pretty much told me they didn't believe me.

That turned into being a domestic violence survivor because I was picking all the wrong men to date.

Because once you start losing self love, once you start thinking you don't matter and when your own family that you thought loved you thinks you don't matter by what they say to you or and their actions are, you start believing it.

And drinking the tea that went from domestic violence survivor, you know, I mean a boyfriend picking you up by your neck, dragging you around the house, all kinds of things, all the things.

And I would stay then that went to suicide attempts and then back to just trying to find me again, that little girl, trying to connect with that little girl Colette again.

And so when football came up, it was just by coincidence.

I didn't go searching it because it didn't exist as far as I knew.

So when I was literally at home on a computer.

And then football came up, women's pro football tryouts, what is it?

Right?

Like I was like this says this can't.

They don't let.

Right.

And I'm like, oh wait, this is a real thing.

Oh well, you know what?

I'm going to these tryouts.

That's how it kind of came to be.

God picked the right time for me to get into my head and back into my heart.

And I went to these tryouts and I was second guessing it for a little while because I was partying a lot.

Now mind you, I Made a lot of money in real estate.

I was a great businesswoman.

But I was always out in these streets because, mind you, I said I didn't value myself anymore, right?

I was doing things that I wouldn't want nobody to do.

And I didn't see mornings, you know, like, I walked home.

I mean, I got home in the morning from wherever I was the night before or two nights earlier.

So when they said practice was on a Saturday morning at 9am I was like, oh, this is not gonna work for me.

Close the laptop.

This ain't gonna work.

And then God kept saying, psst, psst, psst.

Remember how much you loved football when you were little?

Psst.

Remember when you couldn't play football, they didn't allow you when you were a little girl?

Psst.

Remember that uniform your brother got to wear and you didn't get to have one?

Psst, Psst, Psst.

Hey, remember this too?

So I got up that morning and I played.

I went to tryouts.

And I have to tell you, the moment that I drove up to the football field and I saw 45 to 50 women and football equipment, you have no idea what that did for me.

That I felt like I was wearing a superhero cape and I had to give it my all.

And there was no turning back.

There was no turning back after that.

And after getting on the team, mind you, I was.

Man, I was locked in.

I was locked and loaded on that team with tryouts.

And then when they finally called me and said that you made the team, I was like, I know.

Come on.

Like you calling me late too.

So it was.

My whole life changed after that, right?

And I was like.

I called up every friend.

Use that word very loosely.

Because not everybody is your friend.

Say that one more time, please.

Please, one more time.

Not everybody is your friend.

When your friend tells you, oh, just say it a little later.

We good?

Oh, you'll be all right tomorrow.

Oh, don't worry about doing your homework right now.

That's not your friend.

I made phone calls to just about everybody on my phone to lose my number, to never call me again.

And if you decide to call me again, you're gonna be blocked anyway, so good luck to you.

And that first phone call that I made was to Mike Smith.

Not related.

I called up Mike, and he was like, yo, what's up, girl?

Yo, how you doing?

You need me to come through?

I didn't even like this guy.

I didn't even like him.

But he brought the goodies over.

Sometimes I'm like, okay, this Real.

Just keeping it real.

I was so proud to tell him to get the hell off my phone and out of my life.

Soon as I made that first phone call, I hung up the phone and I was like, oh my God, what am I going to do now?

I could never go back.

That was my only then.

I was like, girl, you got to keep it pushing now.

And I put my hands on my hip and I said, yeah, let's go.

Who else can we call?

I called everybody.

Just the only people in my phone that didn't get deleted was like my godmother, my mom and dad, Like, I was like, then you got three people left in your phone.

Oh, well, I'll get some new people in here that are good now.

And I did, because I filled up the phone with my teammates where collectively we were working towards winning a Super Bowl.

Now what?

Collectively, we were eating healthy together, we were practicing together, we were lifting each other up.

That's what it was supposed to be for me.

God gave me this right on time.

And I'm forever indebted to that with him.

And I had made a pledge to myself.

My pledge to myself was that I was going to make sure and ensure that our black and brown children understand how valuable and worthy that they are.

Just like I did.

I did mine late though.

At 42 years old, I want my kids to have it now.

It wasn't late.

It wasn't late.

It was right on time.

Right on time.

It was right on time.

So coaching the NFL to me was like more than what it was.

It was so much more than that.

It wasn't the newspaper article that came out.

I made the.

You know how they had the sports page on the back page of the newspaper?

It's like the front cover for the sports.

I made the back page.

It wasn't about the back page to me.

It was about self love.

It was about realizing that I could do anything I put my mind to.

It was about to find the odds.

So, you know, all of that just as a totality, it just means so much to the world.

Like it goes beyond me.

It's beyond me.

You know, I'm just a little piece of it.

It's just mind blowing to me.

Thank you for sharing that as a little girl that you had this much passion for football and here you are going through all got on the team and to become the first black woman to do that, I mean, I don't know if me standing on the outside of your life, it's just like standing up like, oh my goodness, but to see how purposeful, how intentional, how full circle that.

I don't know how you process that.

How do you process that you are sitting out here with the New York Jets?

How do you.

I suck right now.

Well, not in 2020.

They need me back really bad.

And the Giants.

Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Y'.

All.

Y' all need to be calling me.

I didn't delete y' all or block y'.

All.

Y' all need to be calling me back.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, I digress.

I'm sorry.

Woo.

How do you process that?

That you are sat in those shoes as a little girl who wanted to play football just in your.

In your environment, in your neighborhood, and to be sitting in the space with the New York.

How did you even process that?

I don't know if I really even did.

Really.

I mean, you know, I. I would.

I think about that, where I would just like, I wish I could hug my little girl self, right, and tell her, watch.

Watch what you do, girl.

Watch what you do.

You know?

But we need to do that with our kids right now.

Like, they need to be getting hugs right now for what they're gonna do tomorrow.

You know, my motto today is making tomorrow better today.

Make tomorrow better today.

What are you doing today that makes sure tomorrow's better?

I just think that it's so interesting, like, even, like, with the jets, like, the players, the players themselves, they were just dope as hell.

They were just so cool.

And walking out there on the field, you know, with all my jets gear on, like, you know what?

Even beyond that, getting to the locker room, my locker room, seeing all the things they had for me, I was like, we could fill this stage up, like, over and over again with the sneakers, the jets, this, jets that, jets teach, like, all the things.

And my name, C. Smith, on the locker room, I was like, come on,

sis, you made it.

Come on, you made it.

That was, like, incredible.

And I was calling my mom and dad all the time.

I got, like, six pair of Nikes and sneakers in there, and I didn't even go through all the bags, you know, hold up, somebody come.

I'll call you back.

You know, like, I mean, it was just the things.

Like, this is what it looks like on the other side, but, you know, I think meeting the players, that would come up to me.

And they were walking up to me my first day, and they were like, yo, coach, man, this is a good look, man.

Congratulations, man.

Happy to have you, Coach.

All right, Coach.

And some of the guys were like, you know, I have Daughters.

I never played football with my little girl before, but I think I'm going to start playing with her now if she wants to.

And my question was, because, you know, I wasn't done with them.

Hold up.

Come back here.

Why?

Why weren't you playing football with your little girl?

They were like, I don't know.

I just never thought about it.

That's what we get as girls sometimes just overlooked.

So this was a spark for them to see.

See what happens when you strike a little match and the flame keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

So that's what it.

That's all of this was to have them wake up and recognize things that they otherwise wouldn't have thought about.

Were there ever moments on this journey that, because you talk about this, is a joyful space to have gotten to the NFL.

Was there ever any time on that journey where the being the first was heavier than the joy you were the first?

Were there any moments on that timeline where it feels like, wow, to be the first?

This is heavy.

I'm excited, I'm honored, I'm thrilled.

But this thing is wearing me in a different space.

Look.

No, okay.

No.

No, it wasn't.

I mean, there's a moment where one of my coaches was a complete jerk, right?

But what job have we not gone to where you had one person that was like, that was not a good person, right.

Mistreated you.

So look, this guy, if I saw him walk across there right now, I would drop this and I would go running over there, you know, tackle him.

But you're always going to get one person.

There was one person that just wasn't nice to me.

He didn't give me a chance at all.

You know, I got hired directly by the head coach of the NFL.

I didn't come through a program for girls, a minority program.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

Trust me.

There's nothing wrong with it.

I encourage more of it.

But I came as a hire directly from the.

Then head coach from the New York Jets, Coach Todd Bowles, Black head coach.

I was, oh, so proud of that alone.

And to be hired by him, I'm getting goosebumps.

It meant everything to me.

And if you knew this man personally, he was such and is such a great human being, and I'm grateful to him.

He loved his rap.

He came in the morning, he had his rap on.

He was the bomb.

But there was another.

There was a coach that just wasn't cool.

And I didn't know how to crack him.

I didn't.

So Every day I was crying because I was angry.

Yeah.

And so that was a learning example for me, you know, But I figured out who I was, and I'm actually.

I'm not a fighter.

Like, I would have loved to worn him out, you know what I'm saying?

But, like, I didn't want to have to.

Right.

I wanted us all to kumba, and he just didn't want to.

And it was hard for me to realize that, you know?

Like, you know, I don't know.

I don't know if I would have even done things different with him.

But every time I.

Every chance I did, I had.

I had the opportunity to start thinking, I'm going to be better than I was yesterday.

Watch this.

He's forcing me to be better than I think I already am.

So I've given plus to that.

Right.

I give him a thanks for that.

That was a clap moment.

Yeah.

You know, so, like, the resistance can actually help you sometimes.

I don't want too much resistance now, but.

But some of it is healthy.

And so, yeah, I still would really wear him out anyway.

I digress.

No.

So you talk about courage, and your book is about courage.

I'm just curious, how do you define courage for you right now?

We'll open it up for audience questions.

But at this time in your life, what does courage look for?

Looks like for Colette at this point, you have your own organization, but what does courage look like for you sitting on this side of the stage, this side of the field?

What does it look like for you?

You know, every day I have to find a different kind of courage to battle through with.

I think, you know, I can sit here and tell you to believe in yourself.

Like, to believe in you.

It's hard to do.

Like, that word.

It sounds cute and everything, but it's.

But I mean it deep.

Like, literally believe in you.

And believing in you by yourself is hard enough sometimes.

But then when you have the world telling you things, or whoever they may be, your girlfriends, somebody in your sorority, just somebody, you know, that's just somebody.

Somebody that you think is supposed to love you.

That is.

It's.

It's hard sometimes to have courage, right?

But the only way to have real, serious courage is to sit down, take a deep breath and think.

Block everything out around you.

Block it all out.

What is my goal for myself?

What do I really want to get done or do?

And start going after it, start tackling it little by little.

Like, I'm a big believer in, you can't win the super bowl without Winning regular season games.

First it's little victories, right?

Those little victories add up to the big wins.

So every day you're supposed to win at something.

I don't care how minute it is.

Every day you give yourself a reason to say, I did that.

Then you keep going.

You keep going.

I'm old school.

I like to write things down.

So I like a checklist.

I want to see it, feel it, smell the paper.

Right in your phone.

It's one thing because now I got to remember what to open up to in the phone on paper.

It's right there in front of you, right?

I may put post it note.

Well, I start with a post it note, but then I'm going to need, like, a whole loose leaf, and I got to, like, because I.

There's not enough space on the post it note for what I want to write down.

And then I stick it somewhere where I'm going to see it.

The refrigerator.

I'm trying to lose ten pounds, so I stick it on the refrigerator, you know, But I write things down and I get things done little by little.

And if something takes me longer than I thought, as long as I did something to make it move, to move the needle, okay, then we're fine.

Colette.

It didn't happen today, but I'm halfway there now.

So tomorrow when I get up, I know where my focus is.

Yeah, I understand that, too.

Just as you're talking, thinking about my own journey, starting a bookstore.

We've been around for 18 years, and a lot of people think, oh, you just got here.

So I feel like the 18 year overnight success.

So 18 years of having.

Thank you.

But like you were saying, it's these little bitty pieces of courage all along the way.

So 18 years ago, we were sitting in our apartment in Alexandria just having a dream of opening up a bookstore because we wanted black books accessible no matter where you lived.

And so it took courage to do that.

I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma, and never was taught about black Wall street.

And black Wall street was two miles from my home.

Wow.

It was never taught.

That was a sign, too, though.

Yes, it was synergy.

Yes, it took courage.

It took courage to sit at home and to create something that people were saying, oh, people are not reading.

Black folks ain't reading.

There's ebooks, there's all these things.

But when you say courage, I'm just thinking all along the way, you're up here preaching.

I'm thinking of my own journey.

But it did take courage to hear all the naysayers that People are not reading that.

People are not going to buy books, that your.

Your vision doesn't matter.

That's what I'm hearing as you talk up here, that it doesn't matter.

And we hear it all along as.

As an adult, as you were saying earlier, as an adult, to overcome those voices.

And here we are now one of the largest bookstores in the nation as far as fall, influence, impact.

No, but I'm with you.

I'm sitting.

It's so dope with you.

My first bookstore event ever is with Mahogany Books.

Like, what's up, Boo?

Come on, Boo.

You know what I'm saying?

Yes.

That's a big deal.

It's a big deal for us, right?

A big deal for.

Absolutely.

To have you.

Yeah, it's a big deal.

But I. I just want to.

If you were here, I wouldn't have this with you.

I know you had to start.

Look, somebody's got to do something.

Somebody's got to do something so that.

To.

So that we can all come together.

It takes courage.

It takes.

For me, it takes muting the naysayers, because everybody like you, you are you.

I'm not trying to rehash what you did, because you already preached to us today, but it takes all those people, all the naysayers, muting their voices and turning up our own voice, because if it.

If it.

If you hadn't stepped out and overcame what other people say, you can't do this, then we wouldn't be sitting here.

We wouldn't have courage sitting on the table with us.

Right?

That's right.

So I just think.

I'm just reflecting that so many of us have so many things buried in us, and we're hearing everybody else's voice but our own.

Everybody else's voice but our own.

So I just want to say thank you for this book that now will exist for young people.

Oh, I got something to share with you.

Come on.

Share, share.

I'm excited.

Come on.

I got a phone call, y'.

All.

The end of October.

Okay?

October 29, 2025, I got a phone call from somebody that wanted me to submit my book for an award.

And so they left a voicemail.

And I was like, oh, here goes somebody that want a free book.

Anybody wants something for free, here we go.

And then I called the people back.

I got a voice message.

I left my message, and I said, this is Coach Colette V. Smith.

I received a phone call from you.

Blah, blah, blah.

Hit me back, lady.

Hit me back.

And then she goes, hi, this is so.

And so from the NAACP Image Awards.

Wow, Colette.

So then I was like, this what?

All of a sudden, I became Boo Boo the fool.

What?

And then she said it again.

She reiterated in the ACP image voice.

And I was like, huh?

And she says, yes, we're interested.

We would.

And we would love for you to submit your book, Collette's Courage for outstanding Literature in Children's category.

And then I was like, this.

What?

I said, is this real?

Okay.

I said, you know what?

I said, I'll look out for your email because I want to verify.

You know what I'm saying?

Gotta verify.

And so she sent me the email the next day.

And then I contacted two of my line sisters.

Okay?

I got some powerhouse line sisters.

Abby Phillip from CNN is my line sister.

She's number two.

She's the deuce of the line.

And Joanne Reed, she's the trader line.

So I called up Joy first, and I was like, yo, Joy.

Somebody called me from.

They said they was from the.

And then they said it was like a submission fee.

This is a scam, right?

So Joy was like, send it to me.

So I forwarded the email to Joy.

Joy now goes.

She calls me back.

She goes, sora, this is real.

I said, oh, oh.

So then she said, they called you.

Like, you got a phone call from them?

And I was like, yeah, didn't you.

She was like, no.

She asked how much awards.

You know what I'm saying?

And I was like, I got a phone.

I said, you didn't get.

I just.

I don't know what the protocol is, right?

So I'm thinking, like, everybody got a phone call.

So then I called up Abby just to look.

Verify Joy stuff, you know, like this guy you don't get.

You know what I'm saying?

You need two heads better than one.

And so then.

So then I. Yeah, so Abby was, you know, same thing.

And then it was like, they called you, right?

So, yeah, we'll see.

Nominations.

I don't know if I'm nominated yet, but they did call me and ask me to submit my book, which I think is a big deal.

So, like.

Right.

So I might be changing this book up into, like, you know, update it to say nominee.

Wait, if I'm gonna go nominee, I might as well just go winner all the way.

Come on, Coach.

You know.

But anyway, yeah, I digress for you.

That's a big.

That's worth the digress.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

So let's open it.

First of all, let's give it up.

For the Trailblazie coach, Colette Smith.

Colette V. Smith.

Yes.

So I would love to open up for questions if you all have questions.

If not, we can move into our book signing portion.

Anybody have a question?

If you do, just raise your hand.

Yes, ma'.

Am.

Since we're recording, I think I'll run over the mic to you.

Thank you so much for sharing about your life story, not only your arrival to being the first black female coach in the NFL.

Appreciate that.

Thank you.

I have two questions, actually.

So one is regarding your journey in the NFL.

How is it that that jets coach happened to pick you or select you?

Because you said you didn't even.

You weren't even looking for the role per se, but was it a matter of you had a conversation with him, you had seen him previously, and he's like, oh, this person has a mind for strategy.

Were you so powerful and talented on the field?

And then my second question is a little different.

You said you're working on your Believe in you project, which is.

I happened to see before arriving, and it looked interesting to me.

I have Mustard Seed of Faith by Michelle.

Every product has a mustard seed in it.

So I'm curious to know more about that.

I couldn't find anything more about it, if you don't mind sharing.

Yeah, of course.

Of course.

So Coach Bowles found me because I found him, right?

So closed mouths don't get fed, Right.

So when the owner of my women's pro football.

I got to stand up because I'm too excited when the owner of my football team asked me to do the marketing and the pr, I did.

So I took it real seriously.

So I started doing all the.

Like, I was sitting on CBS News desk with the sports anchor, like, two days later because she told me what to do to marketing.

I said, let's go.

So I started learning what a press release was, et cetera, et cetera.

So then I started calling up the New York jets because the jets are my favorite team.

Did I say where I was before?

Okay.

But were my favorite football team.

So I started calling them to get support from the New York jets to support my team, the New York Sharks.

So I was calling the jets all the time until I was going to wear them out until somebody called me back.

Because if somebody doesn't.

Anyway, don't get me started.

I can give you a whole life lesson on how to get through a door.

Bam.

I'm here.

So I got asked to come to a Jets practice.

They said, well, you can come to a Jets practice.

And I said, I. I'm busy.

I was doing real estate.

I was coaching.

I was doing the pr, the marketing.

I had a dog to walk.

I had to have a shower sometimes.

I didn't have time to go to a Jets practice, but I knew I needed to be there.

So I go, and of course, I'm wearing all my New York Sharks women's pro football stuff on and a championship ring on and all that.

So now I get there and I see Coach Todd Bowles, and I'm like, You gotta position yourself right?

Stop leveraging.

I kept getting closer, you know, And I know as a coach, you better not play with me when I'm on that football field, because I'm thinking.

Coaches are usually thinking about things.

The next step and what to do and the assignment, the personnel, the alignment, all the things we're thinking about.

So I know I didn't want to bother him, but I needed.

I need to just be close.

So eventually we started talking, and I told him who I was, what I was all about, that I played pro football for three years, the New York Sharks.

I'm not coaching them.

He said, what position do you play?

Did you play and coach?

You always have to go somewhere with your homework, do your research before you get somewhere.

So I figured I might meet him.

So I figured, let me learn a little bit about him, the stadium, all the things.

So when he said, what position did you play?

And Coach, I said, the same position you played at Cheney, at Temple.

He was like this.

Who knows that?

I do, right?

So now he's like, oh, who is.

You know, it changes the game plan a little bit, right?

So then he said, well, look, you're coming to hang out today.

This is great.

Just hang around.

Enjoy.

If you have any questions, let me know.

So he goes to walk off, and I go, I got a question, because you gotta ask.

He told me I could use a question, so I use the question.

So anyway, he answered my little question about the DBs, and then he called all the DBs over, and they came running over, and they all took a knee in front of him, and he's like, this is Coach Collette.

She'll be joining us today.

Make her feel at home, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm sitting there like, I got all these TVs, and then I had, Coach, I'm standing.

So I just started seeing their practices, and I just started picking up on things that I think they can improve on in that moment.

So I just couldn't contain myself.

I mean, if you're playing if you're in cover three and you're the free safety, you're supposed to be right there where.

What are you doing over here?

So I was on the sideline like my man.

You need to go back about 15.

So I just found myself just kind of like, you.

Too close.

You gotta get your break in earlier.

You gotta come downhill quicker.

I just started, like, I was just doing it.

This felt natural to me.

And so then there was a part on if you've ever been to a professional practice.

And maybe they do it.

We do it in high school and college football, too.

They'll hold up the play.

So they'll make a play.

So we'll have a scrimmage.

And so the offense, even though your position is defense, will put up a play to run for the defense.

So they'll show the offensive players with their defensive players the play, and they'll hold it up.

And then they get into formation.

I'm on the sideline, and I'm like this.

Let me see.

Okay.

All right.

Keep on going.

Okay, I'm good, thanks.

And I watched the class, and when they lined up, I was like, my man over there.

You come up a little bit, then I'm on.

So I just kind of found that I was just involved, and that was it.

So after practice, Coach Bowles had just said, you know, love it if you can come back sometime.

You can come back whenever you want.

And he's like, you know, you should work for this organization.

I said, I agree.

And that's literally just how it happened.

And I was like, huh?

And he's like, yeah, next time you come back, bring a resume.

Because that means.

I mean, he was watching me out there.

I mean, I was a part of the whole.

Everything he was observing, he could see everything, right?

So he was seeing me out there, but I didn't think about him.

I was just into the mix of the playing.

But, yeah, so I did a resume, and I came back.

And so Bachelor Believe in you, Incorporated,

Believing you Incorporated came to be because of my dad.

So when I went to jets practice for the first day, I had gotten invited to go.

That's when I met Coach Bowles.

When I got there, my dad was a Jets fan, too.

He knew where I was going.

So now I'm going to jets practice, and I'm like, my dad knows where I'm.

My dad knows where I am right now.

He knows I'm with my Sorrow Cookie at her house.

He knows where I am, and I'm so.

He knew I was going there.

So after practice, I called my dad and I got in my car and I didn't want to leave it.

Practice was over, but I was okay.

I could still, like, kick around.

I could just still walk around a little bit if I want.

But I also want to go home.

I mean, call my dad on the phone.

So it was so bittersweet.

So I get to the car and I call my dad.

And my dad, I don't even get a chance to say hello.

My dad was like, oh, my God, how was practice?

Oh, my God, that's so cool.

And I was like, dad, dad, shut up.

Guess what?

He's like, who are you talking to?

I said, coach Bowles said I should work for the organization.

Can you believe that?

Can you believe that?

And my dad said, wait, what did you just say?

He said.

He said I should work.

He goes, no, not that part.

You said, can you believe it?

He said, I believe it.

I'd be more proud of you if you believed it.

I chewed on that the whole way home.

And I thought about that.

Why didn't I believe it the way my dad believed it for me?

So I started believing you incorporated to give a taste of my dad's love to every little black girl and boy out there in the world.

Yeah.

Powerful.

We'll open up for one more question, then we'll do the signing.

Any more questions?

No more questions.

One more question right here.

With your being the first woman coaching in NFL, what are your feelings or your thoughts on the women who are now coaching in the NBA?

Did you start the trend that you were starting?

I'm about that life.

I'm about that life for sure.

Any woman that's coaching in any sport, in any capacity, I'm all about that life.

I love it.

I think that all across the board, we are igniting more and more people to be open minded, to open doors.

And for us also to kick our own doors open.

Because I don't believe in waiting for opportunity.

I create opportunity, right?

So there's three things I live by.

Opportunity, purpose and passion.

And I'm not waiting for anybody.

So these women that are coaching right now all.

Trust me when I tell you I know most of these women.

It's a small world when it comes to women in sports.

We know each other.

I can go in just about any room and be like, yo, what's up?

And they're like, oh, my God, the Jets.

I'm like, oh, yeah, the Commanders, right?

So we see each other, we're looking.

You're being watched, right?

So now I think it's fantastic.

What I do think should be happening, though, is that the WNBA players need to be making more money.

That's number one.

They need to be making more money.

And number two, the women pro football players need to be making money, period.

We don't get paid to play.

It's time, man.

Yeah.

Is there any way a man could be a Delta?

Cause at this point, this thing is

just way over my head.

This is awesome.

Thank you.

That's all I have.

Not a chance, brother.

Not a chance.

I would say keep hope aloud, but that ain't gonna work for you.

Well, let's give it up again for Colette V. Smith.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you to the D.C. public Library for making this space possible.

That's a good for the D.C. public Library as well.

And thank you for being courageous and assuring our young people will have courage to be able to take home and be inspired as well.

So, yeah.

So thank you again.

And we'll have the book signing happening right outside.

And books are available.

You can get yours autographed and take a picture with the first black NFL coach, Ms. Colette Smith.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.